open regress system denial

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 05:27:22 GMT

i am chemicals

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:53:26 GMT

i have to be very careful. it is too easy to make bad decisions. insects and spiders are my main enemies as of late. the toxin on every part of the poison ivy plant also. things should be easy to predict but they aren't because we always have to predict them from a flawed perspective.

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:35:43 GMT

if i wrote an editorial for a major news publication it would go something like this

Fri, 30 May 2008 23:27:43 GMT

FRIGGIN SAVAGES SPOTTED IN THE AMAZON: OH SNAP

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7426794.stm
UH HELLO HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD OF TV THE WEB BASEBALL HOT DOGS? WHERE ARE THE PET STORES GYMS PRINTERS X-RAY TECHNICIANS SHOE STORES AND EROTIC CAKE SHOPS? WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE DOING OUT THERE WHY DONT YOU HAVE NEOPETS OR WARNER BROTHERS OR M.A.S.H. ON DVD? FUCK YOU GUYS ARE SO ISOLATED AND UNTOUCHED BY CIVILIZATION THAT YOU PROBABLY HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD OF PIXAR STUDIOS OR THE IPHONE OR METAL GEAR SOLID 4 FOR THE PLAY STATION 3!!!!! I MEAN GIVE ME A BREAK WHY CANT THESE PEOPLE JUST GET SOME POPCORN AND BUGSPRAY AND LIGHTBULBS AND BATTERY OPERATED GPS TRACKING SYSTEMS AND RELAX??!?! WOULD IT KILL THEM TO MAYBE USE GLADE PLUG IN AIR FRESHENERS OR MAYBE WEAR SOME LEVI'S BOOT CUT JEANS? WHATS WITH THE BOWS AND ARROWS ITS LIKE YOU SAVAGES HAVEN'T SEEN A BOEING 767 OR A TAMOHAWK CRUISE MISSILE BEFORE. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD SOMEONE AIRLIFT SOME DOVE FRIZZ THERAPY TAMING CREAM AND A GANG OF HOT JUICY WHITE CASTLE MICROWAVABLE HAMBURGERS TO THESE ROBINSON CARUSOE MOTHER FUCKERS STAT! AAAAHHHHHHH ITS LIKE WE CAN'T GET THEM THE AMAZING CONTRAPTION SHOWN IN THIS DELUXE YOUTUBE VIDEO FAST ENOUGH! CLICK PLAY QUICKLY AND BE THANKFUL FOR THE FACT THAT YOU'RE NOT A DIRTY SAVAGE WHO JUST WASTED A GOOD ARROW BY SHOOTING IT AT A HELICOPTER!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcCrTahsLg0

maybe

Fri, 30 May 2008 02:55:58 GMT

as good as things are, supposedly they will be many times better by this time next week, give or take a day. instead of waking up at noon, i'll be waking up at 6:30 am to work with the horticulture crew at bard for 40 hours a week. i will be living in my own house with a few of my friends, and the rest will be much closer by. hillary clinton will be making speeches for barak obama. hopefully the internet will be up and running at 101 montgomery. even better, we could have a name for the house by then. a new wave of hits will be filling up the summer. fuck maybe i should change the timespan to a month, because brendan fraser is teaming up with JET LI for a new the mummy movie. gosh. fuck. tomb of the dragon emperor? yes. yes to that shit. my firefox just crashed in the way that lets me type before i decide if i want to send the error report or not. i'm going to hold off for a little bit. let's wander with this thing.
it's not very easy to enjoy anything these days. it is't any easier to think logical clear thoughts that make sense and are valuable. i think i have some books to read but i am not excited because i haven't read a "good book" in so much time. i think i got everthing done i wanted to this week. i sold the last of my magic cards for $200, bought a bunch of japanese food to start cooking the day i get to the house, saw everyone i necessarily had to see without getting too excited. watched the bobby valentine in japan documentary in espn which was really depressing and wonderful. i didn't unpack very much, leaving a minimum footprint, so i will be ready to go on sunday. ugh. and i played too much ginormo sword. here's the link, if you hate your life like i do. im 1 level away from the last level, and i can only get the death boss to half way. this game might be the most degenerate thing, even worse than cops. i should know, i wrote 14 page about how awesome cops is for tom keenan. i hope he likes it. i might not know for a while, knowing this world and how my grades aren't up yet. its not like there are even blank boxes for them to one day fill up, the bard website will only take you to fall 2007, the bastards.
let's talk about how jealous i am of the dumbest people in the world. they have no excuse, life is a breeze for them. im talking about jehova's witnesses, scientologists, young earth creationists, fundamentalist muslims, bahais, FLDS members, church of satan attenders, die-hard zionists, orthodox jews, amish mother fuckers, brainwashed kantian assholes, people who like astrology, ron paul supporters, farc revolutionaries, ayn randites, you know, people whose entire lives are totally dictated by incredibly powerful ideology. im jealous of these braindead fuckups because they have their shit totally set, not a care in the world, everything taken care of for them by some ridiculous deus ex machina that anyone with a grain of sense would at most just make a face at. what is wrong with these people? what is wrong with me that i haven't found some miracle cult to sell my soul and mind to and just be a helpless little pawn for? i can't even be a good marxist anymore, it's so difficult to be honest about that stuff. i constantly have to stake out territory that i am not comfortable in. i lose a lot of people and i don't get any sympathy. maybe by this time next week, give or take a day, i'll have been totally sucked into some horiffic demented cult that will give my life some vague minor meaning. i can only wish.

plenty of time

Tue, 20 May 2008 15:27:49 GMT

things could be worse: a list of awful scenarios to help you realize how amazing your situation is

things could be worse!
you could live in any part of baghdad.
you could be a lawyer in pakistan.
you could live in burma.
you could be an emo in mexico.
you could be one of those transgendered people who isn't even aware of what they were supposed to be yet.
you could be a big fat blob.
you could be a terry schaivo.
you could like country music.
you could be a poor foreigner in poor south africa.
you could be really into steampunk.
you could be in the anti-racist dialogue.
you could be a bike kid.
you could be victimized by an emotionally unstable succubus.
you could be a hebrew tutor.
you could be a harlequin baby.
you could not be entitled to chocolate chips.
you could be two feet tall with a lisp.
you could live a country covered in landmines.
you could have ugly bangs and a palestinean-solidarity scarf and not a wit of sense about you.
you could be one of the very unlucky people who didn't manage to survive for a week even though your school collapsed on you in china.
you could have no right to vote anywhere and no political destiny.
you could be a journalist.
you could have plugs.
you could also have one of those awful bulldog nose piercings.
you could be the senior who finished his project 3 months ago who looks like his head is actually full of air.
you could have a lazy and/or glass eye.
you could be adopted.
you could be fucking amish, god help you.
you could be a scientologist.
you could be an FLDS member, even worse a female FLDS member.
you could take rugby seriously.
you could be a junky or an alcoholic.
you could live in mexico city or jakarta.
you could be a sudanese rebel.
you could be one of the west virginians who voted for hillary clinton.
you could work in any factory in china.
you could be a vegan.

Tue, 20 May 2008 05:14:21 GMT

my bithday is tomorrow
i don't have anything to do but celebrate

Sun, 18 May 2008 00:49:21 GMT

from now on i do only totally self-indulgent things
and from now on i am pretentious.
i want everyone to know
that i do not revere my anscestors.

this post is dedicated to pat mcgee

Fri, 16 May 2008 23:35:56 GMT

Sat, 10 May 2008 15:56:19 GMT

so get this
if i do all of my work
which includes writing a 15 page paper about COPS the tv show and a 5 page paper having something to do with ludwig wittgenstein, i will take myself out to taco bell, which is a mega-self-bribe. while in kingston town, i will deposit a $66 check and even go to goodwill for cheap clothes i can do horticulture work in. this will involve postponing the bribery until tomorrow, sunday, which I am ok with.
i am sick of everyone who is dogshit - i hate you all, die in one big fire.

bein happy about stuff

Thu, 08 May 2008 04:48:49 GMT

friday is the 24 hour standup filibuster
tomorrow i have the first part of my japanese final
drudge has destroyed it with this thriller

i started going to aljazeera for news a little bit
facebook chat is something i would feel comfortable describing as "too real"
if i don't see a crispy ny times face up tomorrow morning in kline i will lose my mind
i got free garlic cheese curds from hannaford because they had no price on them
there was a little lady working there who tried to be like "do they have a price on them now?' after the pricecheck has resulted in my taking advantage of the "on us" company policy. that was not the best day she ever had
saturday i get to write a 15 page paper about cops, im treating it like a privilege
i think the nytimes website actually put a picure about a story on steampunk on the front page. if i ever met the editor who made that decision, i would say "what's wrong with you?"
big in 2008:

i'm being as cool as a bean about moving into an as of yet nameless house in tivoli with justin and three girls who has unintuitively spelled names, cari, lizi and caty, working horticulture all summer, making bentos and living life.

Thu, 01 May 2008 05:07:32 GMT

Happy Mental Health Month

blimp navigation

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:43:20 GMT

i have a bunch of minor cuts and scrapes, also lyme disease, again.
today is a beautiful rainy day. i think my umbrella is in my car, unfortunate.
i still have to pack my bag for when i leave my room.
maybe this will be a good week?
i will drink plenty of water, and floss.
finished my teaching a princeton review class, very glad it is finally over.
my birthday is coming up and i have a little amazon wishlist, which is here:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/2V7QJ6RL2SBSH
today already had a great start, religious staple of annie's with garlic and red bull,
among other things.
i have to figure out what classes i want to take next semester! there are a bunch of nasty conflicts.
i have to walk to class now, bye.

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 15:52:09 GMT

there is still a tiny circle of snow in the corner of the quad outside my dorm
i am going to write 8 pages about wittgenstein in the library
and after that i will go eat sushi and be satiated
i have to take better care of myself in different ways

depth reception

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 02:55:08 GMT

being at home in white plains on a monday night means i return to my old ritual of watching the daily shows and conan. the internet is telling me that both episodes are new, i will believe that when i see it. had a grief-filled visit to the dentist today, the first person to ever tell me not to do the JET program. i am going to have to make a decision about snacks very soon. it looks like 4 tagalongs and milk is going to be the sure fire bet. my uncle told me to starve the empty-headed racist club members at my school, that is probably the best idea there is, there is truly no hope for those kids. tomorrow i will drive to mt vernon to see my dad and his wife pam at their new house in mount vernon which isn't done being built or fixed up yet. there is no working kitchen so we will go out to eat somewhere at a place we will find. kyla is going to send me her zine about how much she hates boys and would ideally like to live in a world without them, kind of like how the brainless racists at my school would love to take their ideology to the Nth and live in a world without whitey. my car is in the shop for a bad noise it makes when i steer around. my mom's boss' car brust into flames this morning outside her office, pretty great if you ask me. i think/hope i did well on my midterms. tomorrow i do not want to write about wittgenstein. i would be well served to never turn on the tv, sitting here in this chair is probably the only thing i should allow myself, after all i will need to google map out the way to dad's house. im sure everyone has the same relationship with their 'people you might know' on facebook: "those ugly freaks". if i want those tagalongs and milk its now or never. stop giving me hassles, also chill out.

69

Sat, 29 Mar 2008 16:07:49 GMT

Are your parents married or divorced?: Divorced
Are you a vegetarian?: no
Do you believe in Heaven?: no
Have you ever come close to dying?: every day
What jewelry do you wear 24/7?: none
Are you eating?: no
Do you eat the stems of broccoli: yes.
Do you wear makeup?: no
Would you ever have plastic surgery?: never
What do you wear to bed?: nothing
Have you ever done anything illegal?: yes
Can you roll your tounge?: not really
Do You have a boyfriend or girlfriend?: idk
Do you believe in Abortions?: sure
What is your Hair color?: orange
Future child's name, boy and girl?: perswithe, magenta
Do you smoke?: no
If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?: tokyo, then okinawa
Do you sleep with stuffed animals?: no
If you won the lottery, what would you do first?: cash the ticket
Gold or silver?: silver
Hamburger or hot dog?: depends on so many different indicators
If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?: sushi
City, beach or country?: city
What was the last thing you touched?: blanket
Where did you eat last?: hana
When's the last time you cried?: last week
Do you read blogs?: of course
Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?: no
Ever been involved with the police?: yes
what's your favorite shampoo/conditioner and soap?: dr bronners
Do you talk in your sleep?: maybe
Ocean or pool?: neither
What's your favorite song at the moment: dont' smoke
have you ever had a cavity?: never
Window seat or aisle seats?: asile
Ever met anyone famous?: kind of, not really
Do you feel that you've had a truly successful life?: no
Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: twirl, bite
What is your fav. sport to play?: taking a shower in ten minues
Basketball or football?: football - the foot is not even involved in the game
when was the last time you went to the bathroom?: 5 am
Do you drive a stick?: i dont know how to, i think i did in my dream last night
Cake or ice cream?: ice cram please
Are you self-conscious?: no
Do you like any of your close friends?: they are all annoying and stupid
Have you ever given money to a bum?: yes and then another bum got mad at me and said something like "i saw you first" to which i mentally replied "get a better hiding spot in front of popeye's next time, social darwinism is a BIYATCH"
Have you been in love?: yes
Where do you wish you were?: japan, also home
On myspace why is the 1st person on ur top 8 there?: deleted that murdoch nonsense
Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?: yes
Can you tango?: no and why would i want to
Last gift you received?: dark chocolate dove bar from shaivalini
What occasion did you recieve your gift?: i drove her to the cc so she could get cigarettes and food because she sprained her ankle and has become a gimp
Last thing you spent lots of money on?: if $30 is "lots" of money, then hana last night. if it isn't, then nothing, ever
Where do you live?: bard
Last wedding attended.: i am so glad i can't remember
Favorite restaurant?: hana, kaiten
What is your favorite kind of car?: batmobile
Most hated food(s): oatmeal
Most loved food(s)?: unagi, marizpan
Can you sing?: no
Person on your mind?: freshman playing a guitar outside my door who deserves to get wrapped around some tires
What ARE your least fav. chores?: dishes
Favorite drink?: sierra mist, 151
Currently have a Crush?: perhaps
How long was your longest drive in a car?: 8+
Why do you do Myspace surveys?: this is LIVEJOURNAL give me a BREAK

Sat, 22 Mar 2008 17:33:54 GMT

i am drying off
i have not been having the best time
xiu xiu is playing here tonight
i wont do the midterm callbacks because i dont have test 3 yet
i should go shopping for tasty food instead
i have no control over myself anymore
i think i know what i have to do, it involves fast food, other types of food, driving, gas, red bull, and thats it

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 01:03:12 GMT

DO NOT MESS

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 06:47:50 GMT

traditional things i have to do post

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 12:50:38 GMT

-write an article called 'being a zionist at bard' for one of the school papers
-write 250 words about my education and get a $3.00 transcript for a $1,000 scholarship
-go teach in 15 minutes
-teach tomorrow also
-eat enough food to fill up my stomach right now
-stop doing stumble upon because it is garbage
-do a shit ton of reading and also write one response
-fold this big pile of laundry
-watch blade runner director cut

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 08:43:29 GMT

should i do stumble upon?

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 08:10:54 GMT

is everyone ready to rock leap day?

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 18:36:05 GMT

in a few moments i will engage in one of my favorite personal activities: preparing and consuming a box of annie's white cheddar with garlic and cayenne. as a new addition, i will drink tea, usually i eat this meal with a red bull, but i do not have any more of those. it is a bright and beautiful day outside. i had to erase my to do list but it had good things on it. i have a check to deposit in kingston. i have a blister on my hand that is going to slowly heal up. i get to read desert screen by virilio. i am too hungry to finish this post.

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 19:44:00 GMT

my right arm aches and hurts because when i taught class yesterday, and when i teach class in general, i hold the heavy book in my right hand and write on the board with my left. i have to find a better way to do this. i am fighting off a cold, i bought generic nyquil and not so generic vitamin c tablets, 833% of my daily value but they have 40 mg of sodium, so i am foolish for not checking that. i spilled hot water all over myself in kline, trying to get tea. i have no patience today. six kids want me to tutor them in logic because the quiz is tomorrow, i will not be able to help all of them, and i feel anxious about it and angry towards them for not going about this correctly. other things that are bothering me: i still am waiting for fucking half.com to pay me the fucking 80 dollars that i made last fucking month. i will never sell anything on half.com ever again and i hope you follow my lead, half.com is horrible bullshit for idiots. if they simply integrated paypal, i would not have any trouble. also, i have class in one hour.

noah your posts have got to go

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 03:42:50 GMT

honestly the main reason i have to start writing this post is to push noah's posts further down my friends page. delicious sushi last night. snowed a little bit today, did a princeton review class. ate annie's and wendy's for what i am going to pretend is a perfect 2,000 calorie day. started feeling groggy and sinusey after the class, my throat has been bothering me, i will take a mega dose of decongestants and antihistamines tomorrow morning. i should buy vitamin C tablets at the super market. my brain is a grey cloud right now, i am waiting for time to pass over me slowly. i think barry hussein obamania won a grammy tonight. tutored two nice girls in logic. i think the only people in the symbolic logic class this semester are nice, cute girls. now, i am going to post this and walk out of the library, with my eyes fixed on the door.